Is it because I queefed?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
