Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
