so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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