You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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