i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize