Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
