I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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