toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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