If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
