Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
