dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
