Where is the hickey?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
