I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
