You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
