i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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