I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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