fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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