Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize