Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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