My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize