I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
