so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
