What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
