I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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