Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
