I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
