I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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