the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hippo gnu deer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
