I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize