home. puking in laundry basket.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
