All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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