"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
