Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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