Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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