508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
