It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize