HIV tests are more positive than that guy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
