i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
