The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
