I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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