I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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