East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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