I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
