So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
