you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
