I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
