Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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