Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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