omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
