smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this beer tastes like vomit already
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize