his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
