I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
