..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
