third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
