who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
