i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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