I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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