my mouth tastes like poor choices
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
