if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he fucked my hip out of place.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you had me at cake vodka
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
