Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
