Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
