I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
