dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
