once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize