she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your cock deserves a montage
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
