Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
