also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
