it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
