First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
