She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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