ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
