I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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