why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
