I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
