my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
