Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
