Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Send help, water and tortillas.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
