i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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