I wish I could teleport
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
