butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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