I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize