i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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