so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You made out with two different species that night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You pole danced in your parka.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
